She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize