matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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