Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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