Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize