No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
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