It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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