You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize