I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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