i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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