I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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