She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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