oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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