**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize