***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
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Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
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also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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