omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize