I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
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Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
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I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize