glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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