Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He felt like a one man threesome
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The uberlube is also flammable
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize