I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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