Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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