Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize