SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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