dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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