Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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