I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize