I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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