i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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