my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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