I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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