Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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