people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
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nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
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the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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