I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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