Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk walkin through police station. America
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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