Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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