the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
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