I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just see the Batmobile???
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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