Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
zippers are such a cool invention
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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