I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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