Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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