Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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