the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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