hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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