need another drink. this is the easiest way
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize