Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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