they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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