Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
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MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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