A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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