there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize