oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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