somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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