All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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